blinded by science

I sometimes wish I was a scientist. I am so in love with science and biology that I cant put it to words. The only reason I avoided science was that I cant do math (except for geometry.) I would almost rather have a microscope than an easel. As a child I saw microbes swimming under a microscope and it changed me to this day and in high school I scored a 97 on my bio regents but I failed every math class I ever took. I often think that art and poetry and music is like the "science of the soul" but art is "squishy" and subjective and science is quantifiable. Science is a mainline look into the mind of god and art is (generally) a lame attempt to look into god's soul. The soul and the mind are like the sun and the moon (very different orbs). I would like to know both--- but I cant. I know people who dont even know themselves (much less the world around them) and that is sadder than anything in this world. I am not even sure why people buy my art--that confuses me but if I sold a scientific solution or invention that solves an actual problem I would understand why people buy that--- Life is the heart and mind divided, summed up succinctly below by lyrics and (ahem) art...


When our weary world was young
The struggle of the ancients first began
The gods of love and reason
Sought alone to rule the fate of man

They battled through the ages
But still neither force would yield
The people were divided
Every soul a battlefield

[II. Apollo / Dionysus]

[Apollo: Bringer Of Wisdom]
'I bring truth and understanding
I bring wit and wisdom fair
Precious gifts beyond compare
We can build a world of wonder
I can make you all aware
I will find you food and shelter
Show you fire to keep you warm
Through the endless winter storm
You can live in grace and comfort
In the world that you transform'

The people were delighted
Coming forth to claim their prize
They ran to build their cities
And converse among the wise
But one day the streets fell silent
Yet they knew not what was wrong
The urge to build these fine things
Seemed not to be so strong
The wise men were consulted
And the Bridge of Death was crossed
In quest of Dionysus
To find out what they had lost

[Dionysus: Bringer Of Love]
'I bring love to give you solace
In the darkness of the night
In the Heart's eternal light
You need only trust your feelings
Only love can steer you right
I bring laughter, I bring music
I bring joy and I bring tears
I will soothe your primal fears
Throw off those chains of reason
And your prison disappears'

The cities were abandoned
And the forests echoed song
They danced and lived as brothers
They knew love could not be wrong
Food and wine they had aplenty
And they slept beneath the stars
The people were contented
And the gods watched from afar
But the winter fell upon them
And it caught them unprepared
Bringing wolves and cold starvation
And the hearts of men despaired

[III. Armageddon: The Battle Of Heart and Mind]

The universe divided
As the heart and mind collided
With the people left unguided
For so many troubled years
In a cloud of doubts and fears
Their world was torn asunder into hollow
Hemispheres

Some fought themselves, some fought each other
Most just followed one another
Lost and aimless like their brothers
For their hearts were so unclear
And the truth could not appear
Their spirits were divided into blinded
Hemispheres

Some who did not fight
Brought tales of old to light
'My Rocinante sailed by night
On her final flight'
To the heart of Cygnus' fearsome force
We set our course
Spiralled through that timeless space
To this immortal place

[IV. Cygnus: Bringer Of Balance]

I have memory and awareness
But I have no shape or form
As a disembodied spirit
I am dead and yet unborn
I have passed into Olympus
As was told in tales of old
To the city of Immortals
Marble white and purest gold...

I see the gods in battle rage on high...
Thunderbolts across the sky...
I cannot move, I cannot hide...
I feel a silent scream begin inside...

Then all at once the chaos ceased
A stillness fell, a sudden peace
The warriors felt my silent cry
And stayed their struggle, mystified

Apollo was atonished
Dionysus thought me mad
But they heard my story further
And they wondered, and were sad

Looking down from Olympus
On a world of doubt and fear
Its surface splintered
Into sorry Hemispheres

They sat a while in silence
Then they turned at last to me
'We will call you Cygnus
The god of Balance you shall be'

[V. The Sphere: A Kind Of Dream]

We can walk our road together
If our goals are all the same
We can run alone and free
If we pursue a different aim
Let the truth of love be lighted
Let the love of truth shine clear
Sensibility
Armed with sense and liberty
With the heart and mind united in a single
Perfect
Sphere