time and a word

Time is a gypsy caravan
Steals away in the night
To leave you stranded in Dreamland
Distance is a long-range filter
Memory a flickering light
Left behind in the heartland

We travel in the dark of the new moon
A starry highway traced on the map of the sky
Like lovers and heroes, lonely as the eagle`s cry
We`re only at home when we`re on the fly
On the fly

-N. Peart


Sometimes I ask people if they had unlimited funds and money was not an issue what would they do with their lives. It amazes me that many people have no answer they mumble and say "well, I would maybe do a little of this and a little of that.. ummm urrr....and something...."I guess some people have no inner resources and nothing really burning inside of them to pursue. Sometimes having a burning ambition and desire can be a horrible curse..it is sometimes like having a flu you cant shake for years on end. I read about these hollywood kids who are well off and they throw their lives down the Los Angeles gutter like a drunk pouring booze down his throat. I guess some people are rudderless and have nothing to believe in or fight for and that is also a horrid thought. I knew a wealthy man who retired and fell apart in front of my eyes because he didnt know what to do with his time. I knew a guy growing up who would start obsessing on a new hobby every six months only to discard the last one like it never happened but he would always buy the best "stuff" for each hobby only to "ebay it" down the road for a loss. "Know thyself" read Socrates inscription over the entrance to the Acropolis! This is easier said than done for we are divided as humans. We are dualists with ourselves. The fact that you can think about yourself is proof that the human nature is divided. The Observer of all that you do in your day to day life that judges you and attacks you and sometimes destroys people is the Freudian Superego. The "voice in your head" can be your own worst enemy and can drive a man into a pine box. The buddhists and wise men have learned that meditation can silence the chattering voice and settle the mud in the puddle of your soul. The super ego can be slain like st. Georges dragon but for many too much time can turn on a man, it is like a wild animal, a chimp that will chew your face off and gouge out your eyes. That is why they put people in prison--you are facing the twin enemies of man--Time and Thyself. If I won lottery I would do exactly the same crap I do everday except I wouldnt do any commercial art I would paint the paintings I have been holding inside of me for most of my life but I am too busy surving to bleed them out of me. I would probably eat a little better and maybe take a vacation every four years. For some people winning the lottery is the express bus to hell and I have seen many a man chew off his own face because the voices and fears of life were too great and even wealth could not silence the demons. Keep a true path and follow the polestar of your childhood dreams and you will stay out of the gutter of doom. If your are aimless and lost then you are one step away from stepping off the curb. A great way to find whats inside you is a good walk in the woods and if you cant do that you can grab a brush and travel the dark woods of your soul. These woods are infinite, they are sad, they are golden.