those who wait

My entire life has been one big crap shoot, one big insane game of chance against odds a horse gambler would laugh at--- one long game of praying to the "Art God's" to let me in "The Gate" for so many years on end the bastards got sick of me and gave me a free pass to sneak in the back door. I have seen hells and sorrows and setbacks that are unnatural, unspeakable and would have broken the average artist like a hyperactive at- risk  kid breaks a cheap candy bar. For some reason I got up every time they punched me out, I laughed out loud in the horrid face of adversity and became Gardega. I watched my friends get married and buy houses and create futures and I sat in the trenches in the cold rain of doubt day after live-long day with a pencil taped to my hand. I may have some PTSD but I am overall a happy maniacal camper who never budged and inch is finally doing the thing I love to do more than anything in this world--- paint and draw.