stress

Sometimes I push myself so hard that I have mini breakdowns where all I can do is sit in a bar for two days and read and ignore my phone. I just have a mini stress snap and I give myself two days to repair the alex brain and then I snap back. There are times few and far between where I cant face up to the reality of how much work I have to do or how to handle my deadlines. The funny thing is 5-6 years of doing yellow page covers I nev er missed a deadline. I know what is a fungible deadline and what is a deadline that if you dont hit you die. There aint no such thing as holding up the presses on a million yellow pages. I have been yelled at screamed at by my art director at paced around my apt at 5:30 with a 9:00am deadline. It is no way to live but I need the fear and the fire to paint. I am not a person who hacks out art, I put my passion and soul into everything I do and when it aint singing it is no good. Be good or go home. I have known people who have had big nervous breakdowns. that must be terrible. I am smart enough to go into self therapy mode when I start mumbling from stress. I bend like a tree in the wind and then I get back into the arena and start working harder than ever. Know thyself....